#Funny words of wisdom with d driver#

My dad jokes are proof that I'm the funniest dad alive.

Having a conversation while having children is like trying to do your taxes in an inflatable jump house.

The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.

My daughter doesn't have any daddy issues, but I can guarantee her boyfriend will.

When they're teenagers, it's Dad's turn to pay them back.

When your kids are toddlers, they'll embarrass you constantly in the grocery store, at the doctor's office, at the park, everywhere.

For the first two years, being a good dad is mostly about keeping your kid from finding new and creative ways to hurt himself.

Fatherhood is all about pretending neck ties are the best gifts you ever received.

Being a dad is when you realize you can actually like people who puke in your car multiple times.

I don't tell them I don't actually like any of them.

My kids always ask me which one of them is my favorite.

#Funny words of wisdom with d driver#

Being a dad at bedtime is like being a designated driver trying to get your friends to leave the bar.Raising kids is the only job where you work 24 hours a day and it actually costs you money.Marriages are made in heaven.Nothing sums up the dad experience quite like these funny quotes.Marry Miss Right but make sure her first name.Never forget to say those three magical words to.Its not how life starts, or how it s what.Wedding Ring and Murdering if you dont behave. 3 Rings make a marriage: Engagement Ring,.A happy marriage is a long conversation which.In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be I have never understood why women love cats. Some of you may know (Bride) loves her cats now.Time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. Yourself would you rather be right or would you rather be happy ? Marriage does'nt mean you own the other.Stay in love, Stay married, Stay hopeful and.Wisdom can come from many places, but commitment.A successful marriage requires falling in love.looks like we wont have a problem there then. I have recently discovered that most marriageīreak ups are down to the Husband thinking too much.Than single men this is not true It only seems longer.

Statistics also say that married men live longer.

statistically you are staring at the person most likely to murder you !

Now I'd like all the husbands and wives here to.

The best way to remember your anniversary.

My Wife Says that I Never Listen or Something.

Year, the Bride speaks and the Groom listens, in the second year the Groom speaks and the Bride listens, and in the third year they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Married life can be confusing, in the first.This will later result in you asking What's wrong and the wife's This means it's something that she's asked you to do several times but is now doing it herself. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT now be aware that this isĪ dangerous statement.

it's a dare if you go ahead you're in for an argument about 'NOTHING' that really means something that will last 'FIVE MINUTES' and you won't be FINE. NOTHING usually signifies an argument that will last 'FIVE MINUTES' and will end with the word 'FINE' Something's up you should be on your toes. Very similar to the five minutes we use when a football match is on and she wants to go shopping. YOU should never use the word fine especially about how she looks. Might have a good argument this means that you should shut up. Firstly ( Groom ) I'd like to share with you the.It wasn’t that I didn’t like her - I was just too polite to interrupt. I didn’t speak to mine for the first two years of my The married men here today, so let me give you mine Always remember that it's very important to get along with your Mother in Law. (Groom), you will be given loads of advice from.